JC was starting to get worried. He didn't want to admit he was worried, but there was no other way to describe what he was feeling when he saw Joey.
It had been three weeks since Chris had left, and they were about to start the second leg on tour. If it wasn't for that, JC might not have noticed how thin Joey was getting, or how the other man never went out from the Compound, or how he didn't smile quite as much… And how all that had happened since Chris left.
They didn't talk much about it, not with Joey, and not between them. They all had heard the door closing when the teacher had gone out of their lives, but none of them had actually connected the two things, not until Joey had come out of his room, his eyes red and puffy. He had only looked at them, without saying anything. And then Justin had walked closer to him, and put his hand on his shoulder… And Joey had cried.
But they didn't know why Chris had left.
Because Joey wasn't talking.
And JC didn't know how to make Joey talk.
Chris hadn't answered any e-mail they had sent, and he hadn't returned to Albany. JC knew, because Lance had talked to a very worried Kate, who didn't know what had happened to her brother. For a moment, they all had thought of talking to Howie, but since the Backstreet Boys had their own troubles to fix, they had decided to wait.
But watching at Joey get thinner, watching how he never smiled, never talked, never joked… JC was afraid that they were running out of time.
* * *
Bobbie breathed deeply before pushing the doorbell.
She had debated a lot over going there, over if it was the right thing to do, but now that she was in front of the door of Chris Windsor' apartment, there was no going back.
After returning
from Orlando, Bobbie had called Danny to his office, only to find out
that he was away in a business trip. He hadn't answered her calls, e-mails
or pager messages. That got her really depressed, especially since all
her troubles to get Chris' a new job. Then she thought that perhaps that
was what had Danny angry,
the fact that she hadn't asked him if it was a good idea. If that was
the case, she just needed to talk to Chris, meet little Emily and they
would tell Danny everything was all right.
But the School Board had called her too, and now, she was worried.
Apparently, Christopher Windsor was not at all like she had described. First, there was the fact that he said his name wasn't Windsor, but Kirkpatrick. Second, and a lot stranger, was that Mr. Windsor was not the happy, out going teacher who could relate to younger kids. Instead, he was a quiet man who just handed them homework, before picking it out.
Something didn't add up there for Bobbie.
So she had decided to go and check what was going on.
The man who answered the door was indeed the one he had seen in that lonely pic she had once stolen from Danny's wallet. Christopher Allan Windsor. Only that now, instead of his eyes being shinny and happy, they seemed dead. There were big bags under them, and his hair was greasy and long, and his face…
It was as if the man in front of her hadn't smiled in years.
"Yes? How can I help you?" He asked, softly. And then she realized that he had no idea of who she was.
"I… Can… Can I come in?" She finally overcame her shock, and he simply moved away, allowing her entrance. That made her even more uneasy, since no one in his right mind let a stranger in without a good reason. "My… my name is Roberta Loughride, I'm your brother's fiancée…"
"You got the wrong apartment, ma'am." Chris shook his head, offering her a seat. "I don't have any brothers."
"What? No… I know I'm in the right place…" Bobbie put her hand over her mouth, shocked. She couldn't believe that her desire to help could have had so terrible consequences on the family. Thinking of a good answer, she looked around before noticing something was missing. "Where's Emily? Didn't you brought your daughter with you? I specifically told the School Board that they had to provide you with a suitable apartment for you two…"
That got a reaction out of him, outside from the apathy that was starting to annoy Bobbie. He seemed puzzled. "I don't have a daughter either… " Then, his frown deepened. "What do you mean, told the School Board?"
"I… " She blushed, deeply ashamed. "I just wanted to make things easier for all of us when Danny…"
"Danny?" His eyes stilted in anger, and suddenly, she found herself missing the apathy. "You're Danny's Bobby?! But… but you're a girl!" Anger turned into surprise, and Chris hung his head down. "That… that bastard… I… I think you better leave…"
"Wait!" Bobbie asked, despite herself. "It's obvious you know Danny… But… if you're not his brother, what are you to him?"
And Chris laughed, a humorless laugh. "It's obvious he wouldn't tell you… You see… Danny's my ex-boyfriend."
* * *
Lance
sat at JC side, but JC was too focused on Joey's still figure, on the
other side of the garden. They were in the middle of a photo shot, but
the photographer had asked for five, since Joey was simply not smiling.
"Can I ask you something?" Lance said, after a long silence. "Why do you worry?"
"Joey's my friend." JC answered, sighing. "I… It's wrong for him to be like that. Chris didn't had to leave."
"But you were right in the first place." There was a finality in Lance's voice that JC didn't like. "Just look at what's going on with Howie and the guys…"
That was another tender subject that no one wanted to approach. The Backstreet Boys were now touring some Latin American country, promoting Black and Blue. In part it was to take them away from the States and the absolute controversy that the stupid paparazzi had caused, but in part it was also because they needed time away. Howie and Kevin had grown completely apart, and, if what AJ told JC the last time he called to ask about Joey, Kevin and Brian weren't talking either. Many reporters thought that this was going to be the last tour of the Backstreet Boys, and some were even speculating that they were not going to finish it.
"I was a jerk." JC stated, and turned to see Lance. Now or never, he thought. And what the heck, it might take some pressure off Howie and Kevin if he did it. "I was jealous that Joey got a chance to do what I never dared to do."
"Piss Jhonny off?" Lance joked, smiling.
"Telling the man I love that I love him." JC answered, and Lance looked startled for a moment, but then their eyes meet, and Lance understood.
And, even if it was only for a moment, everything was all right.
* * *
justinrulez: I can't believe what you're telling
me!
bobbiel: Yeah! He's was Danny's lover for two years!
bobbieI:All the time we were together, I was the Other woman!
justinrulez: I always knew Danny Windsor was a jerk!
bobbieI: And you haven't heard the worst, girl.
bobbieI:Danny broke with him, and then tried to get poor Chris back,
bobbieI:without breaking up with me.
justinrulez: What? He broke up with the guy to marry
you, and then
justinrulez: he wanted HIM to be the Other Woman? Bastard!
bobbieI: Want me to top that?
bobbieI: Happens that Chris had a new boyfriend. A famous one.
bobbieI: And your stupid friend was the one who made Danny add two and
two together.
bobbieI: He got a bunch of pics of Chris and his new boyfriend,
bobbieI: and threatened Chris to put them in every paper of the country
bobbieI: if he didn't leave his boyfriend.
justinrulez: He didn't!
bobbieI: He did! That's why the poor Chris is so miserable! I feel so
guilty, Chaos!
justinrulez: Well, you shouldn't have gotten him
fired before talking to him.
justinrulez: Like, he liked his job in Albany, didn't him?
bobbieI: Yeah. And his poor sisters!
bobbieI: I swear I'm gonna castrate Danny next time I see him!
justinrulez: I can think of worz things to do to
him.
justinrulez: But… why don't you try to fix things for Chris?
bobbieI: Well, I told him that if he wanted, he could quit at the private
school,
bobbieI: and I would pay for his expenses until I fixed the situation
at Albany…
justinrulez: No, I mean, looking for his boyfriend,
you know?
justinrulez: the famous one? and like, pairing them up again!
bobbieI: Not that easy, Chaos…
bobbieI: And you're not going to like who the famous boyfriend is…
justinrulez: You think I'll tell everybody?
bobbieI: No… but… I know you are a big fan of *N Sync and…
bobbieI: Chaos?
bobbieI: Chaos, you still there?
justinrulez: Sorry, bobbie… Just added two
and two together here.
justinrulez: This Chris… he wouldn't happen to be Chris Kirkpatrick,
would he?
bobbieI: Yes, but… how do you know?
justinrulez: Look… can't explain you right
now…
justinrulez: I'll get back to you, all right?
-JUSTINRULEZ LEAVES CHAT-
Bobbie looked at the empty monitor and logged off. Something weird was going on.
Worried, she turned off the computer, wondering how a 17 year old girl in Orlando knew about Chris Kirkpatrick.
* * *
Nick turned off his laptop, glaring. Now everything made sense.
When Justin had told him that Chris had left Joey, Nick couldn't believe it. They had looked so happy together, that they had even given Nick hope on his own troubles. But Chris had left, no explanation given.
Well, now finally
Nick had an explanation. What he couldn't believe was that he hadn't connected
Chris' problems with Bobbie's problems before. He had meet Bobbie a year
and a half ago, in a chat room about Backstreet. She had been doing research
for an article, and he had been testing his latest fake virtual id, Chaos
Timberlake, his favorite and most obvious if anyone found out. And for
some reason, he and Bobbie had become good friends, even when Bobbie was
28 and thought Nick was a 17 year old girl who screamed her head off at
the mere mention of *N Sync. And when Bobbie had told him first about
Danny, Nick had taken a dislike to the guy immediately… just because
the guy sounded too good to be true.
Now, he knew why he disliked the jerk. It had been the blonde jock who had tried to take Chris away back at the Cauldron, and the one responsible for Chris and Joey's current misery.
"Nick, can we talk?" Brian sat next to him, and Nick sighed. Even when Brian was his best friend, the way he was acting towards Kevin and Howie was getting into Nick's nerves.
"Sure, B. What about?"
"You think it's my fault? That Kevin and Howie aren't talking?"
The question took Nick by surprise. Sure, the morning Kev and Howie had
come down holding hands, Brian had been the one most against the situation.
He had yelled a few things against them both, and among others, he had
called Howie a home wrecker. But that
hadn't even made them sit apart. Nick knew, and he had thought the others
knew too, that the trouble between the two older members was the way in
which Jive forbidden them to spend any time alone together. And in the
silence that was left, Brian took his own answer. "You understand
why I said that, don't you? That kind of thing… It would never work.
And if…"
"It works." Nick said, serious, and Brian looked at him, startled." Why are you angry at Kevin? Because he fooled behind Kristen's back, or because he fooled around with Howie?"
"Why? I… I don't know." Brian looked down, and it only occurred then to Nick that Brian might not have even thought of that before.
"I hope it's the first reason." The words came out by themselves, because Nick was tired. Really tired of hiding and lying. Because even when he was not affected by the lies he had told, he was seeing how his friends were affected by other lies. So he was going to start cleaning his act. "Because… if it's the second, I don't think we could stay friends, B."
"Nick, what?" Brian looked confused, and Nick couldn't help but laugh. A bitter laugh.
"C'mon, B. It's not as if I hide it really well. I thought all of you knew I'm gay."
* * *
JC stared at the paper, trying to put all what he was feeling into words, to no avail. Everything he wrote had five harmonic lines, and one of them was way too high for Joey or Justin to sing.
And he couldn't stop thinking that he was doing it out of guilt. After all, he had been the one who said that Chris would bring troubles to the group, and jinxed the whole thing. Deep down, he knew that it hadn't been his fault that Chris left, if that had been the case, Joey would have killed him…
Sure, that wasn't a big consolation, but at least then he would have known what was going on.
So he felt guilty, and in the middle of his misery he remembered Chris' singing voice, and the mixer that was his brain had somehow merged it with Joey's… And to his brain the mix was perfect. So he was writing for that mix.
Only that it was useless to the group. They didn't know where Chris was, or if he wanted to come back to Joey… And even if they knew, there would be no way of convincing the big bosses at Jive of letting *N Sync sing with a gay 30 something teacher.
He crushed 'hopeless love ballad #45' in a small paper ball and threw it to the garbage can, missing it by a few inches. Like the previous 44 that lay around, in a white sea of paper.
* * *
Bobbie answered the phone, wondering who could be calling her at 3:00 a.m. in the morning.
"H'lo?" She asked, still half asleep. "Who's there?"
"Bobbie?" A young male voice that sounded strangely familiar answered. "BobbieI on the Backstreet chat?"
"Yeah… who is this?" Now she was scared, and wide awake.
"Oh, great. You never told me if you had a roommate, and I really wanted to talk to you." The young man said. "Please, don't freak out, or hang up, 'cos this is really important."
"Who is this?" She asked again, frowning. There was something in the way the young man talked that was more familiar than his tone."Well, you know me as Chaos. Chaos Timberlake." The voice said. "You know, justinrulez?…"
"You're a man?!" Bobbie almost shrieked. "And why are you calling me at 3:00 am?"
"Is that early there? Shit… Sorry, Brazil has a weird time zone…" Chaos, because Bobbie was somehow sure that yes, it was Chaos, even when he was male, and sounded older than 17. "Look, this is important. Can you please get sure that Chris doesn't leave?"
"What? Why? And what are you doing in Brazil?! You said... never mind… How do you know Chris?"
"O.k. I didn't want to do this over the phone. " Chaos sighed. "My real name is Nick Carter, you know, from Backstreet Boys. I can sing to you if you don't believe me… And I have a plan to bring Joey and Chris back together, and get Danny in the process too."