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Act 4 , Scene I Joey woke up feeling incredibly. For the first time in weeks, the dream hadn't been haunting, but welcoming. Only that he hadn't found Chris. That was wrong. But it was maybe his brain's way to tell him that he really had to find Chris. He loved Chris. He could now admit it out loud, admit that he, Joey Fatone Jr., had fallen in love with Chris Kirkpatrick. I'm going to call him. He thought, as he put on a clean shirt and turned on MTV. I'm going to call him, and apologize forbeing such an asshole, then everything is going to be fine. "AJ's
miraculous recover was dulled, however, by the discovery of Christopher
Kirkpatrick's body next to him. Although no further explanations have
been given, Kevin Richardson of the Backstreet Boys explained that Chris
K. died because of an overdose of Valium, and that given the situation
where he was found, police suspected suicide. No further comments have
been made neither by the remaining members of the Backstreet Boys nor
Jive. The date for the funeral…" It had been Lance the one who first visited Joey, when Steve finally called the band. JC was too worried over Justin's welfare, and Howie, being an old schoolmate of Chris, was being hounded by the media. So it was Lance the one who received Steve's frantic call about Joey's behaviour. It was Lance the one who heard the story first, when Joey's wall finally broke, and the older man ended up crying on Lance's shoulder, explaining between sobs how he had fell in love with Chris, how he had rejected the other man, how he had ran… How he had stopped denying his heart desire, just the day he found out his love was dead. And Lance, being Lance, listened to it all without flinching. Without telling Joey he was sick, or that he was going to burn in hell. Even when Lance wasn't exactly tolerant about gay people, he knew his friend needed help, and he was ready to offer as much help as he could. Truth to be told, Lance expected that this sudden loss would be taken by Joey in the same way that all his other heartbreaks, losses and misses had been taken. Sullen for a couple of days, then back to the normally happy, flirty guy who had earned his reputation as the *Nsync womanizer. He really didn't expected what he found. Joey was sitting on a small bed in a square room, his knees all the way up to his chest, staring at nothing. His hair was long, disheveled, and the only traces of the red dye he had favored on the last months were the long tips, grazing his ears. His eyes looked haunted, and he was thin. Thinner than what Lance could remember ever seen Joey. He could almost count ribs. "He hasn't eaten since he found out." Steve told Lance, very softly as if not to disturb Joey. "He hasn't moved either… I'm starting to get really scared, Bass." "Let me talk to him." Lance had said, but he hadn't been able to talk to Joey. He was too shocked. It took him two days to gather courage to talk to his bandmate, and a whole day of needling and teasing, and insisting to get Joey to look at him Lance didn't like what he saw. Joey's eyes were dead, void of all feelings. In the fourth day, Lance had to breach the only subject he didn't want to reach. It had been that day when Joey cried, when he learned all the story. And he had had to start with the most terrible words. "Joey… Today is Chris' funeral." * * * The Joey Fatone Jr. who entered the room where Chris' funeral was being held was almost unrecognizable for all those who had knew him before. Even so, Lance could have told them that Joey had improved a lot since the morning. He had managed to get Joey to the shower, to force him to clean up, and to dress up, and to cut his hair. He had flinched when Joey stripped his ears from all his earrings, the Superman one which Joey favored so much was hidden in Joey's jacket pocket, but that was the only piece of jewelry Joey carried that day. There had been no way to hide the dark bags below his eyes, no way to hide the haunting look in his brown eyes. The room had fell silent when Joey, accompanied by a silent Lance, enter through the double doors. Lance cringed a little at that, wondering when they had let all the hate between the bands to reach that unbeatable point. But Joey didn't pay attention to any of it. His eyes were glued to the open coffin in the center of the room. "Chris…"
He murmured, so low that only Lance heard him, and moved forward. Lance
followed, stopping near the sobbing Mrs. Kirkpatrick. He recognized her,
and the four girls around her, only "Mrs. Kirkpatrick… I'm very sorry for your loss." He said, and the woman, Beverly if he recalled right, lifted her head. "Thank you…" She had eyes very much like Chris, Lance mused, and now those eyes were frowning in confusion. "I'm sorry… I don't seem to remember your name…" "We had never meet, Mrs. Kirkpatrick." Lance explained. "I'm Lance Bass from…" "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, DAMN FAGGOT!!!!" Brian Littrell's scream pierced the silence, interrupting Lance's introduction. Everyone turned around to see the normally calm southerner looking at Joey with something very close to hate shinning inside his eyes. Joey didn't even move. He just kept staring at the coffin, as if Brian didn't existed. As if nothing existed except for Chris's body, lying there. "YOU CAUSED THIS! HOW DO YOU DARE TO COME AND SHOW YOUR FACE?!" Brian kept yelling, and Lance thought that he was going to try and hurt Joey, when Kevin stopped his cousin. "Brian, stop. You're making a scene." Lance heard Kevin's low voice, and for a moment, he thought he saw something strange in the Backstreet Boy's eyes. "NO!
He shouldn't be here!" Brian yelled again, but now the volume was
less shrill, less insistent. Apparently, his cousin's presence was enough
to keep him calm. "It was him, Kevin! It was because of him that
Chris killed himself! Chris couldn't live knowing he was committing a
deadly sin and so he took his own life! It was Fatone's fault!!!" Was it my fault? Did I really send Chris to an early grave because I was too much of a coward? Did I really caused that happy go lucky wonderful man to die? Did I? Joey closed his journal and stared at the wall in front of him. The wall that was empty on his room, because he had never know what to put in there. Not until now, that is. The day before Chris's death, he had bought a painting on a corner store. The painting was still wrapped on the brown paper that the store clerk had used, lying abandoned in the living room. It was a forest. The forest of his dreams, the one he shared with Chris. Only that now he couldn't put it up, he couldn't see it without crying. So he stared at the empty wall, imagining Chris's brown eyes staring back. * * * Brian had finished working on the song he had written for Chris, before he knew Chris was a… like that, when he heard the hushed voices in the closet nearby. "You think he suspects?" a childish, almost innocent voice that Brian didn't recognize immediately asked. "You think he'll hate us?" "No. He… he was just… shocked about Chris." The other voice, the low and slow hum, was very known to Brian. It was Kevin's voice. But why Kevin was hiding in a closet? Curious, Brian leaned against the wood, trying to hear better. "In time… he'll regret those words. You'll see." "But what if you're wrong? What if he hates us?" The young voice of whoever was talking to Kevin sounded agitated, making Brian frown. "Kev, I wouldn't be able to live if you lost your cousin because of me!" "Don't worry, Nick." Kevin answered, and Brian's blood freezed upon hearing those words. "I'm sure Brian will understand, but if it makes you feel better, we won't tell him for the time being." * * * With the rumors about the romance between Joey Fatone from *N Sync and Chris K. from Backstreet Boys running rampant around the net and the paparazzi, fans from both groups have made their own opinions known. *N Sync fans claim that the only reason why Justin attacked AJ Mclean was to defend Joey's honor, while Backstreet fans insist that Brian Littrell's heated accusation during Kirkpatrick's funeral was not unbiased. In other related news, there was a small riot at the Low Security Orlando Prison, in which several inmates were injured, and, as of this date, three have been reported as dead, with 12 other inmates reporting missing. It was the installations where Justin Timberlake was serving time, and, according to our reports, he is counted among the missing." * * * Joey was standing in front of a small grave, almost overflowing with flowers and flowerpots. Chris Kirpatrick's grave. It had been only a week since the funeral, roughly two since his death, but for Joey it felt like an eternity. He closed his eyes, and he could see Chris' bright smile, as he showed off his Goblin King outfit. Chris' sparkling eyes as they meet a second time, and exchanged phone numbers. Chris's laughter, that had enchanted Joey since the first moment. Chris, and all that made him being Chris. "I'm sorry, Chris." He mumbled, trying to keep the tears from falling. "I'm so very sorry." He raised the gun on his hand, a gun that he had bought illegally just the day before, when he found out that Justin was missing. (He could have saved Justin, if he had just realized his feelings for Chris before. If only he had told his group that he was friends with Chris… If only…) Joey closed his eyes one last time, and he saw Chris, looking at him with the same sad, lost eyes that Joey had seen the day they had kissed, the day when he had foolishly run away. I love you. He thought.
He shot. |
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