How was I supposed to know that I wasn't the only agent with 'youthful' looks on the Bureau? I managed to piss my 'partner' the first day, and not only that… I think he suspects what Vicks has been hinting for a while.

      Fuck. I'm going to feel this in the morning.

      Five hours. Five fucking hours of rehearsal, and one stupid joke of Kirkpatrick to end the day. And the choreographer wasn't happy. And he was so unhappy that he ranted against us, and then… then HE had to open his stupid mouth.

      I would never have told the dancer that it was our talent what gave him a job. I would have never told him that he should have stick to Britney. I was not the one who fucking walked out of the rehearsal until the 'diva dancing queen' got a grip on his emotions.

      But I can't tell him that. Because if I do, Agent Robson will be convinced that I'm insane.

      Isn't that fucking great? The man that is investigating how rock kids get their drugs is Agent Wade J. Robson. Secret Agent and Choreographer. He's been undercover less time than I, he doesn't know of the real dangers of the work… But he outranks me.

      And I embarrassed him in front of *N Stink.

      In front of kids who, even if he wasn't an FBI agent, should respect him and listen to him and learn the fucking steps no matter how weird or fucked up they seem.

* * *

"Joey! More to the right! Lance, concentrate! Let's pick it from the top!"

      Justin sighed. He really didn't like Wade a lot at the beginning of the rehearsals, but now, he liked him even less. It seemed that Wade had made his personal mission in life to make their lives miserable: Justin because he was Brit's boyfriend. JC because he wrote the song that was the hardest to choreograph. Lance because he messed up the steps. Chris… Chris because of the prank. That stupid, idiotic prank. And Joey because Joey always sided with Chris.

      So they had rehearsal after rehearsal, after rehearsal, always ending too tired to even think, always too tired to sing…

      It was not life. At least not a kind of life Justin enjoyed.

      He found himself missing Lou. Sure, Lou also worked them to the point of almost dropping dead, but at least, he tried to pretend that his golden boys had some say in the matter. And even when he was being unfair, because at Jive JC could write, and he had also been offered to do something, and that something was slowly turning into a crazy rap he and Chris were going to put in the middle of Just Got Paid (Which, jokingly, was also the name for their new record, while they found something better)…

      Still, sometimes, he felt that it was all a big mistake.

      Times like this one, when they were doing again the steps for Bye Bye Bye, because Chris kept doing silly faces at the mirror, because Joey was always tired and looking as if he thought the whole 'puppet' set up was stupid, and because JC seemed to keep on dancing regardless of the song that was playing, and because Lance always skipped a step or two in the chorus routine.

      Times like when he got the chance to talk to Britney, and she seemed distant. Or the way she kept going at parties without inviting him, or the way she had some really weird mood swings. When he suspected that perhaps she was into something she shouldn't be, and he felt bad for not being there for her.

      Times like when Jhonny told them that the lawsuit wasn't going good at all and that they had to push back the release date for the record, again, but that it wasn't that bad because that gave them time to finish a video, or a single, and maybe even put a title on the CD that didn't sound like if they were some sort of teenage boyband.

      Which, really, they were, but it was nice of Jive to try and pretend they didn't know that.

      And in the middle of those times, Justin couldn't help but wonder why Jive was being so nice to them. Why it didn't seem to matter that they were loosing the lawsuit. Why Pearlman was so happy, and looked so confident in all the interviews, even when they asked him about Backstreet Boys, which was of the weird because when they had been with Pearlman, the man had nothing good to say about Kevin's group.

      And there were moments in which he didn't want to think at all, and wondered if there was a way of just stop worrying.

* * *

      Fucking shit for brains!

      That's it. My bosses are insane. And even Robson agrees with me.

      That's scary. Robson and I agree on something.

      They want us to… fuck! I can't even think of it. They want us to fucking encourage one of the kids to use drugs. To see if we can use that to fish out the sellers.

      And what about the kids' fucking life?! I can't see… I can't even imagine one of them doing drugs. Sure, Kirkpatrick has done weed. So have Fatone and Bass… I'm sure Chasez doesn't need it. He's fucking always in a high-like state, he must sweat fucking dope…

      It would explain why Bass is always around him. They look like fucking Siamese twins or something.

      Thankfully, this time Robson agreed with me. We fought and yell and stomped out of the boss office together, yelling that if any of the kids ever thought about doing drugs- of course, Robson doesn't know about the weed, and I didn't volunteer the information – we would do everything in our power to stop them.

      We went to a bar then, and it was great that no one recognized us because he's supposed to be fucking 19, and I'm fucking famous and it wouldn't do to have one of *N Stink members photographed in a bar with their fucking choreographer… And I must stop worrying about that shit. The group has PR to handle those fucking pictures when they're taken.

      He said he doesn't know how I do it. He admires me for putting with *N Stink 24 / 7 and not having lost my fucking mind.

What he doesn't know can't hurt him, right?

      Fucking right. I will not tell him about… about the other. It's just stupid.

      Maybe now that Robson and I talked, he'll come to understand that we're on the same team. Neither Robson nor I need a repeat of that third day, prank non-withstanding. But even in the off case that he doesn't get it – because he has this weird way of reacting whenever his oh so good friend is involved – Robson will understand that I'm keeping my cover.

      And I'm worried about that. Antonio Scarpazzi has been set free because of a fucking problem of procedure. Apparently, the fucking DA forgot to process the fucking evidence right, and now there's a fucking assassin with a grudge against me on the loose.

      I know that I don't look like I did 6 years ago. Shit, I don't look like I did four months ago. The fucking fashion keeps changing and all good boyband members must follow it. But there's a slight possibility that Scarpazzi could recognize me. I was the one who worked for a year to win his trust, and then fucking stabbed him in the back.

      Those were the good old days. I will never get an assignment like that again.

      But I am sure fucking praying that Scarpazzi never picks up a Tiger Beat, a Teen Pop, or a fucking Teen People Magazine.

* * *

"I can't tell you how glad I am that you finally got rid of those braids…" Joey playfully passed his hands through Chris' newly spiked hair. They were getting ready for the photoshot for the Bye Bye Bye Single cover but they were the only ones in the dressing room at that moment. Justin was in the other room, trying to reach Britney with his cell phone, JC was writing outside, apparently he had had a great idea for Space Cowboys and the tour, and Lance… Lance was somewhere doing whatever Lance did when
he and JC weren't together.

"I thought you liked the braids!" Chris pouted, indignantly. "Man, you were daring me to dye them red!"

"Pink, but, whatever." Joey shook his head. "You think the fans will like the new album?"

"They'll love it!" Chris smiled. "And wait 'till you see the ideas for the video. It's huge!"

      They had finally won the lawsuit against Pearlman, and in a better shape than Backstreet Boys. Apparently, Jhonny Wright really knew his trade, as *N Sync was free of both Transcon and RCA. However, just as they were resting from that little problem, there had been a new lawsuit, this time about the giant puppets they had used on some of their appearances.

      Which meant that they really needed to have a new big success just to even up.

"Guys? Are you in there?" Justin asked, poking his head through the door. "I want to check something with you…"

"Come in, Curly!" Joey called, laughing. And then, just for effect, put his arm around Chris' shoulders. "We were just done."

"You are weird, man." Justin shook his head, closing the door and sitting on a nearby chair. He had let his hair go back to his more natural brown/blonde tone and looked like a normal kid instead of a bad developed picture. "I… I wanted to ask… please don't get mad or anything, but… have you ever done drugs? I mean… illegal and stuff?"

      Joey and Chris shared a worried look, but it was Chris the first to regain his voice. "Ju… Why are you asking us this? You know we have smoked pot once in a while, and if you ever want to try it, we... Well, it's all right if you want to join us but…"

"Ithinkbritneyisintoheroin." Justin blurted quickly, lowering his eyes so the others wouldn't see the tears welling up.

* * *

      FUCK!

      Timberlake is loosing it. After he confided to Fatone and Kirkpatrick, Chasez and Bass entered the room and got the short version of the story. And it fits. Spears has gone through way too many mood swings, and Timberlake swears he saw something like a puncture near Spear's shoulder blade.

      Robson didn't took that too well. Apparently he really likes Spears, despite everything. I don't understand how can he enjoy this fucking job. But he does. And he swears that Spears was clean while he was assigned to her…

      Which takes us to a nasty point. If Spears started shooting up when Robson stopped being her 'choreographer', then whoever who gave her access to that shit knows Robson's true job here. Or suspects. Which means that my own cover might be in danger… Or that Robson's life is in danger and thus he was placed with the 'expendable' group.

      Shit.

      I should have accepted fucking retirement when the Scarpazzi thing went down…

      Fuck.